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Exceptional Pluba |
Is it limited to causing illness/physical stuff, or can it be mostly psych oriented?
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~ Mimi ~ http://am-pugs.com ~ "When we stop learning we die." ~ -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- |
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Exceptional Pluba |
Hi Mimi
 I think by definition Münchhausen Syndrome by Proxy technically refers to parents who are abusing their children. The medical profession may have expanded upon that. The typical profile of the abuser is very much so paychologically-based. Here are some profile stats from a CASA site. "Often upper class, well-educated persons; Appears to be very knowledgeable about the victim's illness; Shelters the victim from participating in activities outside of the home; In cases involving children, the perpetrator is the mother with the father being uninvolved in the case; A history of marital discord; Lonely and isolated; Unusual involvement in the patient's care, to the point of trying to exclude medical staff; A history of Münchhausen Syndrome and/or suicide attempts; Socially adept and friendly around medical staff. Most MSBP perpetrators fall into one of three types: Help Seekers, Active Inducers, and Doctor Addicts. Help Seekers are mothers who seek medical attention for their children in order to communicate their own anxiety or inability to care for the child. They can also be suffering from depression. Help Seekers tend to come from homes studded with domestic violence, marital discord, or single parenthood. Help Seekers also tend to be open to active intervention. They acknowledge that they need help and are willing to undergo therapy in order to improve their lives. Active Inducers induce illness in their children by dramatic methods. These mothers are anxious and depressed, and employ extreme degrees of denial and paranoid projection. They also seek acknowledgment from medical staff of their ability to be an outstanding caretaker. Doctor Addicts are obsessed with obtaining medical treatment for nonexistent illnesses in their children. Mothers believe their children are ill, refuse to accept medical evidence to the contrary, and then develop their own treatment for their children. These mothers also tend to be distrustful, angry, and paranoid." Note: In my opinion, this can be relevant/apply for any child OR adult, i.e. anyone that is dependent upon any caregiver. "Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." -- Disraeli  |
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Exceptional Pluba |
This is a 35-year-old 'boy' who still lived w/ his mother. He was labeled as 'retarded' and unable to learn as a child. I don't know all the details. I do know there was/is physical/sexual abuse involved. This kid is no more retarded than I am - if you get him away from her, you can see glimmerings of an intellegent human being. This really pulls on the 'strings' in me that make me want to rescue thims being abused. It's so sad to see.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~ Mimi ~ http://am-pugs.com ~ "When we stop learning we die." ~ -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- |
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Exceptional Pluba |
Mimi - having worked with children on and off over the years, I can appreciate just how frustrating - and even at times nauseating it is to feel helpless the improve their worlds for them! The fact that she provided Cool Whip for all the other children makes me want to scream. If a child had an allergy and one is bringing 'group snack" bring something that everyone can eat. (I actually had to have a talk with a Mom about this in on of my Practicums. The most darling little boy had severe food allergies. He was starting to act out as he always had to have different items on holiday occasions. The Mom agreed for Halloween that she would bring something that Nat and all the other kids could share. Most were bringing sweets (a no-no for Nat). I suggested let's focus on the COLOR - how about carrots with peanut butter and a few raising stuck on top. Call it bugs on a log and everyone s happy. The woman was kind of a control freak BUT she wound up thanking me profusely. She didn;t have to... Nat's hug at the end of that day was more than enough thanks.
 That first case you mentioned wreaks of MBP to me. It would have been so hard for me to not lock that womman in a closet. Now, at least, there are mandatory disclosure laws for even suspicion of abuse of ANY kind. Also, those reports can be made anonymously if need be. The important thing I learned is to DOCUMENT: copious notes of occurences, behaviours, etc. with dates/times - and preferably listing any witnesses if possible. I hope someone has a way to monitor how that girl is doing. Re: your 2nd case, I would almost bet that there was no man on the scene at home. Gut instinct says Mom wanted to keep her son quite dependent. He may have developed Asperger's or even begun to shut down if the Mom was emotionally abusive (which I can also guess). If he was closer-to-fine with nurturing and when Mom wasn't around, I can stake my life on the fact that that woman was doing a major number on her son's self-esteem. I know what you mean - it defeintely makes one want to be able to go out and 'save' them all. Yet, every life you touch, you must believe you are offering a ray of hope, a bit of courage, and some much-needed warmth. It can and does make a difference. Some of these kids are in awe to find that their world should not be as it is... Much respect to you for the work that you do, Lorraine "Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." -- Disraeli |
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Exceptional Pluba |
Lorraine - I haven't seen much evidence of Asperger's. He acts more like the victim of some pretty severe psych abuse - self-esteem is nil. He often has the demeaner of a beaten dog. It is extremely painful to watch. I just wish I could help some.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~ Mimi ~ http://am-pugs.com ~ "When we stop learning we die." ~ -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- |
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Exceptional Pluba |
Mimi - you are and you can help All one needs to do is remember the phrase "mandatory reporting" and it can be anonymous. Keep detailed notes and sumbit to DHS or whatever it is called in your state."Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." -- Disraeli |
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Exceptional Pluba |
Mandatory reporting is a joke in this state - the only thing 'they' are interested in is drug abuse by the parents - that might get some action - and then only sometimes - but does not apply in this case. This 'child' is also 35 years old.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~ Mimi ~ http://am-pugs.com ~ "When we stop learning we die." ~ -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- |
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Exceptional Pluba |
DHS or Child and FAMILY Protective services would have more information. I would also check with the ADA act... I am not certain, but believe there are several guidelines set up for dependent adults. Perhaps the easiest way to fin out would be to go a step above your county govt. and call or email your governer. I think he or she would be happy to offer contact info. and/or any statutes, etc. If I weren't running on wireless internet here temporarily, I would look into it for you myself. Let me know if you find anything. Cable should be back up here soon.
"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." -- Disraeli |
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Exceptional Pluba |
If you want a good idea of how things work in this state, watch the movie 'Silkwood' - going to any authorities is never a good idea here - if the wrong feathers are ruffled, it's entirely too easy to just have a one car accident, and not being from here I'm not often sure who is connected to whom. [I'd almost rather deal w/ the Mafia - at least then you know where you stand.]
I don't think this guy has ever been declared 'dependant' - not legally anyway. I can talk to him some, but I need to know where to look for 'theraputic talk' along the lines of raising self esteem and self confidence. It was done for me, but my problems were a little different. -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~ Mimi ~ http://am-pugs.com ~ "When we stop learning we die." ~ -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- |
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Exceptional Pluba |
Mimi - I am off to get my car from the shop and then bring my golden boy to the groomer this afternoon. Let me get back later and see what I can dig up. I took a whole class on this stuff - Maine's Muskie Institute is phenomenal. If you stop in here before I am back, please know that I will follow up
"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." -- Disraeli |
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Exceptional Pluba |
I am not sure how severe this man's challenges are but there are several avenues which can help with the self-esteem and confidence in light of what you have shared. The fellow clearly needs to feel empowered - on any level at which he is capable.
There are many good books out there about helping those with challenges (physical, emotional, psychological) to empower themselves, have courage, raise self-esteem, etc. Knowledge re: how to help those with diverse needs has grown by leaps and bounds in recent years. I know he is an adult, but a very good book I'd recommmend is The Exceptional Child (Allen, Schwartz). I would also look for anything on creative and goal-directed therapy... things which can (step-by-step) help this man gain a bit of independence, courage, and self-respect. I hope that helps Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help!"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." -- Disraeli |
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Exceptional Pluba |
If your DHS there lacks diligence, some states have Adult Protective Services available to handle reports of mistreatement/neglect re: dependent adults and/or offer support, protection, etc. They, too, will protect the confidentiality of those who report abuse or neglect.
The National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) lists advocacy contacts by state (www.nami.org) and has a number of support options available. It is an odd site to navigate but you may find some additional resources there. There's all site that offers goal tracking and an online journal to record progress is http://www.psychtracker.com/ "Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." -- Disraeli |
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Exceptional Pluba |
I really appreciate your help. I'd like to email you a few more details, if that's OK. There's a lot of stuff I'm not real comfortable putting on an open web site - and the PT part here I don't really trust. I'll PT you my email address - though I've put it here quite a few times. You can email me back yours, if you want. I'm working 50 to 60 hours a week at the moment - that's why I'm not around much - I work mostly 'evenings' - noon to 10 or 11PM.
Thanks again. -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- ~ Mimi ~ http://am-pugs.com ~ "When we stop learning we die." ~ -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- |
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Exceptional Pluba |
Mimi That's fine by me. I am happy to help in whatever way I can. One of my email addys is in my profile here. (The other I reserve for clients.) I understand the ramifications of Client Confidential Info. and am well-versed to that regard. Still, I'd like to ask (and it is okay to say no) if I may run a bit of this by my mother? She has a Master's Equivalent in LD and is up-to-date on the very latest resources. God love her - she is still teaching at the age of 69 (she'll be 70 next week) and still finds the time for all the PET meetings, etc. etc. "Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." -- Disraeli |
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