Does anyone know of a contract that you can create with your significant other (S.O.), whereby you can provide her with sperm and she bears the child and basically owns the baby. I want to give my S.O. a child but I dont want to much be part of the next 18 years of raising a child. Kind of like giving someone a gift that keeps on giving, but the gift giver is a absentee giver. ? Anyone?
Nakidog, I would still be around. Just not legally obligated. I am just not sure exactly where I will be during the next 18 years. Im not an easy one to tie down. I also have no idea why people need a contract in order to be legitimate. eveyone I know who gets married regrets that move, and says things were better before they signed that legal document. I dont know who invented it, but its nonsense. if you love someone, why do you need a contract?? and If you both dislike each other, why would you want to stay together anyway. a child is more apt to have a better life with one happy parent than two miserable ones anyway. please convince me otherwise, but im very much comfortable with my thinking.
<LisaGibson>
Posted
I think you should think about what you're saying.. Not trying to push you in a different direction, but maybe she would be better off to find a real man who will father her child. How can you abandon your child? yeah, you will be in his life but not helping raise/support him.
There is NO contract that can do that unless you sign over your legal rights.
Which means if his/her mother finds a new love he has the right to adopt him/her and you would have NO say so on how the child will be raised..
Have you discussed this with your parents?
Having a child is the BIGGEST responsibility.
A marriage license is just a peice of paper. The way I believe is you're married in the eyes of the lord once you've slept with a woman.
If your s.o. wants a baby and YOU don't want to be obligated to your child.. Maybe Artificial Insemination would be the best thing.
Or adoption.
You will have to deal with the child when they are 18. They have the right to know everything about you and why you made the choice you did.
Do Not get a girl pregnant as a favor etc..
Just remember if you LOVE someone enough to sleep with them, Then you should love them enough to marry them. Otherwise there is no love.
I married at the age of 16 I had a baby at 18 and Now I'm 24yrs old, A wonderful husband of 7yrs and 2 beautiful children; Sarah 2yrs and Corey 5yrs.
I would like to let you know that If you do decide to have a baby with her, When it is born, I know you will want to be his father 100%.
It's the best thing that has ever happened to me along with marriage.
quote:Originally posted by Aaron: Nakidog, I would still be around. Just not legally obligated. I am just not sure exactly where I will be during the next 18 years. Im not an easy one to tie down. I also have no idea why people need a contract in order to be legitimate. eveyone I know who gets married regrets that move, and says things were better before they signed that legal document. I dont know who invented it, but its nonsense. if you love someone, why do you need a contract?? and If you both dislike each other, why would you want to stay together anyway. a child is more apt to have a better life with one happy parent than two miserable ones anyway. please convince me otherwise, but im very much comfortable with my thinking.
well i suggest give up your rights to the baby and let her have another man adopt
Posts: 3 | Location (City, State): Medford Oregon USA | Registered: Fri May 02 2003
quote:Originally posted by Aaron: Nakidog, I would still be around. Just not legally obligated. I am just not sure exactly where I will be during the next 18 years. Im not an easy one to tie down. I also have no idea why people need a contract in order to be legitimate. eveyone I know who gets married regrets that move, and says things were better before they signed that legal document. I dont know who invented it, but its nonsense. if you love someone, why do you need a contract?? and If you both dislike each other, why would you want to stay together anyway. a child is more apt to have a better life with one happy parent than two miserable ones anyway. please convince me otherwise, but im very much comfortable with my thinking.
well i suggest give up your rights to the baby and let her have another man adopt
Then she should just wait until she meets that man to get pregnant. Aaron, you will not be doing you S.O. or the baby any favors by getting her pregnant now. Does she KNOW you wont be around? Or does she think that by having a baby you will stick around. She could be thinking this is her only chance to keep you. Even if you TELL her this, doesnt mean she hears you. Women think differently than guys, and women can do things in desperation. I really think you should allow her to wait and find a man that will love her and able to be with her FOREVER. Do what is best for her. And dont you think she would be happier with someone who would love her forever instead of some guy who cant make a commitment? It will be a lot easier for her to find that man without a child right now.
I am sorry that you have such a negative view of marriage and committment. Somewhere along the way you have been exposed to people who do not take marriage and committment seriously.
My husband and I began dating in our early teens. We have never been (biblically) with anyone else. Our first child was born while we were still in our teens. We have now been married for 30 years. We couldn't be happier. I am not saying that there have not been difficult times or arguments. But we love each other very much and thoughts of affairs or divorce would never be considered. We are very different from each other in background, education, and ambition. I love adventure and he is satisfied living in the same house, town, etc. the rest of his life.
But what we do have in common is an admiration and love for each other, a belief in God and committment to marriage. As the years have gone by we have grown up together. We have found many things that we enjoy doing together. In this day and age our relationship is exceedingly rare because people get angry and just walk out of relationships.
Wow, Have nothing to say to Aaron. I don't agree at all with anything you are even thinking of doing but that decision would be between you and God and you will face your own judgement someday. I make my own errors and will face my judgement. The only reason I'm replying to this is say "way to go Rayna". I love your assesment of marraige. My husband and I feel the same way about ours. I wish I could say that my husband has been my only partner. That is one of my few regrets in life and I hope for something so much better for my children. Divorce no way. Affair...who has the time? Love and friendship...partnering as parents. That is what it is all about.
Jill B, thank you. But, you should have no regrets. You have also beautifully defined marriage - "Love and friendship...partnering as parents." I definitely agree.
To Aaron: if you want a contract, make one up yourself and word it however you both agree on and take it to a notary and both of you sign it there and have it notarized and then it's a legal document. That or either hire yourself a lawyer. Legal aid might even help for free.
If you are in no way interested in being in this childs life then do her and the child a favor and DO NOT father one until you are mature enough to raise him/her. If she wants a child NOW she can go to a sperm bank and all that jazz. But I'd encourage her to wait for someone who will love and care enough to help raise a child. Kids need 2 parents!!
It's a dog eat dog world, and I am wearing milkbone underwear!...unknown.
October...adopt a shelter pet month!!!
Posts: 686 | Location (City, State): Ohio USA | Registered: Thu July 24 2003
Oh but I should say this. I know there are ALOT of single parents out there doing a great job. And I commend you. But in this case I think the op should NOT contribute to a childs birth if he has no plans to stick around to see this blessing grow or help in the childs development into adulthood.
It's a dog eat dog world, and I am wearing milkbone underwear!...unknown.
October...adopt a shelter pet month!!!
Posts: 686 | Location (City, State): Ohio USA | Registered: Thu July 24 2003
quote:Originally posted by crittermom: Oh but I should say this. I know there are ALOT of single parents out there doing a great job. And I commend you. But in this case I think the op should NOT contribute to a childs birth if he has no plans to stick around to see this blessing grow or help in the childs development into adulthood.
It's a dog eat dog world, and I am wearing milkbone underwear!...unknown.
October...adopt a shelter pet month!!!
This is from April, Crittermom----so are you the Official Bumper today?
