I am a single mother with one child. I live in a small house on a regular street in arizona. I fear all nigth long that someone is going to break into my home. i hear noises all night and I know that its not a break in, but I still am scared stiff. is this a phobia i have or are you also the same way in thinking.
It could be a phobia, but more likely you are just afraid of being alone. I can get through the day just fine, but as soon as it gets dark the fear sets in. The same creaks and thumps during the day, become a dangerous intruder at night. Consider getting a dog. It doesn't have to be a large guard dog, it could be a smaller watch dog. Most intruders will leave if they hear a barking dog, not to mention it will alert you to anything wrong. If you get a larger dog, consider getting one that has already gone through training, or get a puppy and take it to training classes. Also try taking self-defense classes. If your child is older, take him/her with you. It never hurts to be prepared.
Posts: 40 | Location (City, State): Independence, WI, USA | Registered: Fri March 21 2003
Kari, thanks for your thougtful advice. I am so scared that I cant even look out of a window for fear I will see someones face. Do you fear the same thing? the funnything is I actually think it is possible some one could be lurking around my house. It happens all the time and it makes my fear even more real
I am lucky to have a big strong guy around (he is actually more of a wimp than I am, there must just be something about testosterone that makes a girl feel safe...LOL!). But before him, and on the few occasions when I am alone, I jump at shadows. I turn on every light in the house because I am afraid of what might be hiding in the shadows, and I live in a small house. I also close all of the shades and curtains and try not to look outside. You should consider getting a home security system if you really are afraid of someone breaking in. That won't help with the fear, but it should stop a real intruder. Also consider getting a motion light or a yard light that stays on all night. You will feel better if you can look outside and see that there is no one there. It will also discourage lurkers.
I live out in the country and have two dogs, a big mutt and a little 10 pound mutt. Toby, the big guy, wouldn't hurt a fly, but Bonnie would tear the toes off of someone. It definitely helps knowing that I have them to protect me and warn me of any intruders. They also keep my lap warm! If you have the room, you should definitely consider getting a dog. We had a german shepherd mix when I was growing up and most people were afraid to get out of their vehicles with her around. When my brother and I would play, she would actually nip at his heels because she thought he was attacking me. I had her trained to chase after him on command! Most dogs are extremely protective of their owners, and they are much better around kids than a gun will be.
You could also consider seeing a counselor/therapist about your fear if you feel it is getting out of control. I may be afraid, but it means that I am also prepared if something does happen. Just don't let your fear control your life.
Posts: 40 | Location (City, State): Independence, WI, USA | Registered: Fri March 21 2003
I used to be the exact same way. I used to live in the country and I was more scared there than in the city. I had a 110 pound Rottwieler chained to the front of my house and my trusty Pit Bull chained out back. I used to sleep with a gun ! And yes I knew how to use it. My philosophy, If you can get past my dogs then you deserve what ever happens to ya. I had someone stand on a chair and looking in my room when I was 15 and I think my fear stems from that. i no longer sleep with a gun but every little noise I hear wakes me right up. And I will not Look outside either because if I seen a face looking back I would probably have a heart attack!! Thank goodness the dogs bark whenever someone is around the house. I agree with Kari, get yourself a dog. Preferably one that will detur people. We have 3 pit bulls and a rott mix and noone has bothered us. But both neighbors on our side and 2 people across the street have had their houses broke in.
I don't know how long you have been alone, but I'm guessing it hasn't been too long. I don't know if one ever gets used to it, but a pet is a great deterrent from the lonliness and fear of intruders. I have been there and a dog, any kind, small or large is a wonderful pet. You can talk to your dog because he/she will truly be your best friend. You can take the dog for a walk or a ride until you feel up to going back home. Just try and take it one night at a time and it does get easier. It helps if you can make an online friend. If you get really scared, email someone, or me, if you like--I can listen. dezerei@aciglobal.com I hope this helps some.
