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Newba Pluba |
quote: But I think if my mom knew some thing was wrong she might have asked... right? Hm... Oh and my weekend will not be that good as I work saterday (but only 5:30 pm to like 10 pm so not that bad) and on sunday my sister is going to try and force me to go to a DnD meeting as a try to meet people... |
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Newba Pluba |
I told my sister I want to talk about some thing on sunday...
But now I have no idea what to say. Help T-T |
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Newba Pluba |
Well I know my sister and how she reacts...
For the most part she will: 1. think I am joking around. 2. say that I am just confused. (And well I really am as well... about a lot of things... but as I learned about TS stuff a lot of it seemed right to me...) 3. not want to talk about it... Counseling is part of why I want to tell her... There is no way I can get it on my own that I know of and she might be able to help me get some... |
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| <Rayna's Poms>
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Nat, she sounds like a typical sister. If you expect those reactions from her, I believe you will be okay in sharing with her. I'm glad that you are receptive to counseling. We all need an objective person to talk with. Friends and family are often so close that they don't view us objectively. An outside perspective helps us keep things in focus.
Best wishes for tomorrow. You will be fine. God bless. |
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Newba Pluba |
quote: I really hope it goes well... And I am more then rece[tive to counseling I really want it... A have talked to a lot of people and it seems to best way for me to really know if I am a TS or not... I don't really know anything at this point... All I know is I don't feel right and so much of the TS stuff fits with me... |
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Good Pluba |
nat babe, there is nothing "wrong" with you...ts could be a direct result of any number of things...hell, there have been cases where out of IDENTICAL twins one becomes a ts...explain that one lol...scientsts are thinking that is because of chemical exposures in the womb, but who really knows...
anyway, the ts thing might actually be completely normal for you, dont EVER let anyone tell you its wrong or unnatural... |
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Pluba Freshman |
I think there is medication available for this kind of defect. What it is is a hormonal imbalance that makes you feel this way, like depression or stress. It can be fixed without going through a permanent sex-change.
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| <Rayna's Poms>
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Nat, how did it go? I have had you in my thoughts today. I pray you are doing okay.
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Newba Pluba |
Have not talked to her yet...
I went to that DnD group today (ended up getting a ride from one of the people) and had a really good time and was all happy and ready to talk to her... But then she turned on the TV right before I was about to say some thing and there was a stand up telling jokes about TS's... So I did not think the timing was right... But I am feeling better then I have in some time today... Maybe it might just be better it just keep going to this DnD group and have fun with other people and this will go away >.> |
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Newba Pluba |
There are times when the forces shine even on me...
I was just about to go and talk to my sister then my other sister called... I have been trying to call her all weekend to just chat and give me a little pick up and she calls just at the right time. Then she goes to on asking if some thing is wrong (my voice was a little shaky...) and when I said no she stated to list things... She said "you want to have a sex change" and seeing thing as an opening I jumped and said yes... She did just like I said my other sister might do but she still wanted to talk about it... But I am still shaking from fear even now... So I gave her the addresses of some sites I have been reading (as she (as most people) does not really know what TS is...) and she said she will look over them and call me back later... Some times just when my life it at it's darkest some random little star point of light gets in... I am not going to talk to my sister who I live with tonight... As I want to wait and see what Jazz (my other sister) thinks and says... Maybe she will act as back up for me... Maybe if Jazz understands she will let me just tell Dell (the sister I live with) to call her to talk after I come out to her... As I said. There are times the forces shine even on me |
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| <Rayna's Poms>
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I am on my way to work and stopped in to check on you. I am thrilled that you are feeling so much better and that you have taken that first step. That was the most difficult.
 I would chat more, but I am running late.  I'll be thinking about you today. |
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Newba Pluba |
Thanks.
I hope it goes better tonight after she has looked over some stuff... I felt sick and wanted to (And did) cry most of last night... |
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Newba Pluba |
Ya talking to my sister was a bad idea...
-_- I am going to try to forget about this... My sister doesn ot understand at all and she is the most open minded one in my fam... It's better off for me I think if I just try not to think about it naymore and force my self to ok... She went right off talking about how I must just be gay and she is ok with that or how I need to go out and have sex... She did not understand at all that sex is not really a part of this at all for me... -_- I am just not able to put how I feel into words... I can put it into writing but not find the words to say... I think it is going to be better for a lot of people is I just keep this shut up... I have work... and even if it is only making pizza and getting to phone it is some thing to put my mind on and if I just try to do that with out thinking at all I will be ok at lest a little... I can fake being happy to so no one will know... All of this was just a bad idea... |
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| <Rayna's Poms>
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Nat, I wish I knew what to tell you. I am so sorry. If only there was something I could say or do to help. It is okay to keep some things to yourself. But, pretending to be happy when you are not will take a toll on you. You are 19, have a job, and will one day be on your own. That is not a distant reality, but a foreseeable independent situation. Once you are on your own, how you live your life, if it is not harming anyone, is your business not your families or friends.
Even if you do not post again, take care of yourself and find someone to talk with - someone that can listen and not judge. I wish you the best. |
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Newba Pluba |
quote: I don't know what to do now... And even thinking about being on my own makes a wave of fear grow in me... I am the kind of person who needs some one there. Even not like day to day fully. But I just need to know I have some one I can go to and just hang with even when I need to be with some one... I can not deal with being really alone. Right now I am having a hard time as I don't really have some one (I have my sister... but... sadly I can not really trust her with a lot of stuff... and she has a boy friend so when ever we do some thing she is talking to him on the phone and that just makes me feel even more alone...). Most of my life (and the last 4 years even more so) I have had my little bro... But now he is over 24 hours away... If I ever really needed him to be here it'd be over (what ever it is...) before her gets here... That is why I feel the need to tell some one... Telling my Jazz was a bad idea I think now really... But I did it and I will have to live with it I guess... If I can find some one to back me up here in real life then a lot of things will get better... Till then I will just keep living on the side lines I think... But if I ever really lived by my self and was alone... I'd not last out a month... |
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| <Green_Wytch>
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awww nat hun, ill tty when i get home tonight...just hang in there....give your sister more time, i bet she'll come to understand...
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Very Good Pluba |
quote: Eva, I'm not sure that 'defect' is really the right word to be used in this situation. It's not a defect, just as being gay or bi is not a 'defect'. It's different than the norm, but what the hell is the norm anyways?!? |
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Very Good Pluba |
quote: Maybe we're all just extremely open-minded here, but you've obviously done a good job explaining it to us. Put it in writing, and think about it and then give the written paper to your sister. You have NO reason what-so-ever to be ashamed or embarassed. The people that don't understand or are against you are the one's with problems, NOT you! |
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Very Good Pluba |
quote: Ya know, you should check out Meetup.com Sounds goofy, but you can meet people with your interests. I'm part of a few groups now myself (and I was an EXTREME anti-social). You might find a support group in your area for TS folks (through Meetup.com or through other internet sources or even through your paper) or just find people with other interests that you might have. |
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