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Grand Pluba |
I did not read Linda's comment as cold. I too would suggest counseling as a first option. None of us knew that was an impossibility. I understand you are frustrated and that is why you were snappy. You are not alone. this is not uncommon for women to find themselves stuck financially with a man that they know is cheating or doing something else wrong and they do not have the means to leave. I wish I had a magic answer for you. I really do. My heart goes out for you. I was in that predicament but thank God I had the financial means to move on. Most women don't. The only suggestion I can give you, and this one will take time to see thru, and that is to try to find employment and slowly regain some financial independence. This is not a quick fix more of a longterm. you will feel so much better about yourself in many ways just to find a job even if minimum wage. You may not live in a means you are used to, but you will have your dignity. Is there anyway you can seek legal aid for a divorce? You did not say what it is that he is doing that you do not like, but if it is cheating and you can prove it then you can win. Legal aid can help you. Do an internet search on legal aid in your area. I have a flair for counseling and love to help. But what I always tell people is i need more facts. Can you offer up anymore information on your situation so that I can give a better informed suggestion(s) to you? I really would like to help. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are." -Dale Carnegie |
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| <Passion Wolf>
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How can I say this without being cold? if you don't want to leave him then I guess you will have to deal with your marriage if that is what you call it. It is sad that some women think they can not make it on their own.
Either I am getting older and really don't care for the sex part *snicker* or I just don't care period. never allow a man to control you. learn to stand on your own. I hate to say this, but look at it this way what will you do if this person decides to leave themselves? or this person dies what would you do? Again I am sorry if I am not candy coating this. But you must rely on your ownself. Legal aid might not pay your bills but they can ask the judge to grant you some support from your husband until you get a job. |
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Grand Pluba |
Well you are not giving anyone any option to be able to offer advice. Legal aid won't pay your bills, rather they will offer you an attorney so you can get alimony and/or child support. You are entitled to that, and if he is cheating then you are entitled to money to live in a manner you are accustomed to. Make the bastard pay. If not, then we can't help you. Not trying to sound mean or cold, it is what it is. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. But either way, I do feel for you and hope things look up for you soon. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are." -Dale Carnegie |
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| <Passion Wolf>
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DC we think a like on this manner make the Bastard pay that is for sure
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| <Lynda>
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You make some very valid points. Thanks! |
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| <Lynda>
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I guess I just wanted someone to talk to. I feel so alone all the time. Child support is out, no kids. Our state doesn't support alimony. You don't sound mean or cold. I'm just inbetween a rock and a hard place here and I don't know how much longer I can take this. Some days are better than others and when I'm feeling real bad, of course everything seems to escalate. Perfect Dream: "Legal aid might not pay your bills but they can ask the judge to grant you some support from your husband until you get a job." (Quote) I cannot get a job. I can apply for disability due to my condition (failing health), but it can take up to 3 years and there is no guarantee I will get it. I am in the minority here, as I'm white and not middle aged yet. I have checked into it, but it's a matter of being able to sit for hours in their office and do all the paperwork. It's a problem for me to sit for a long time or to stand for very long at all. Anyway, I don't want any sympathy--it's just that I have noticed some very good advice on here at times and I was hoping for someone to talk to about my situation. Thanks! |
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| <Passion Wolf>
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you can have the paper work sent to you because of your disability ! and there you go since you can prove you are disabled the state or the judge will make your husband pay some kind of support... and I will tell you this because I have seen it done... it might take three times because social security is set up that way or if you have a very good doctor you might get the disability started right away! if not then you can appeal the social security decission < sp . As I said before you might wanna talk to a lawyer! just because you think the state wont give you alimony does not mean that is in concrete.
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Grand Pluba |
If nothing else, we are definitely here for you to talk to. Talking over a problem is more therapeutic then some people realize. Feel free to "vent" anytime here. We'll listen and respond. My thoughts and prayers are with you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are." -Dale Carnegie |
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| <Passion Wolf>
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Since I know you have a PC here is the web address to social security.I do believe they have forms that you can fill out and send in but you will still have to go in.
http://www.socialsecurity.gov ..You can also find a disability lawyer if the SSA people deny your claim. |
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