I had to speak before a group at my, get this, flyfishing class, last week in Sacramento. I shook like a earthquake and sweat like a pig and made a damn fool of myself. Im only 27 and dont want to do this again it is embarrasing. I have to do this again next week and I am actually thinking about quitting class so I dont have to endure this situation. are there pills for this problem or classes i can take or advise anyone has.
I know exactly how you feel. I hate public speaking, but I was required to take a speech class in college. I had the exact same symptoms you describe, but I was the only person who thought I did horrible. Chances are, the only person who thought you did bad is you. Remember, it is a fly fishing class, so it is doubtfull the class is full of experienced public speakers! Most of them are probably just as nervous about public speaking as you are. A lot of people are afraid to speak in public, especially at first. I still don't like public speaking, but towards the end of the class, it wasn't so bad. The best thing you can do is be prepared. Prepare your speech and practice it in front of a friend or family member, or in front of the mirror. You may feel stupid at first, but eventually you will become more comfortable with it. Good luck with your next speech!
Posts: 40 | Location (City, State): Independence, WI, USA | Registered: Fri March 21 2003
I also have an extreme fear of public speaking. I have Social Anxiety Disorder, so really do know EXACTLY how you feel. I wouldnt recommend you take any medications to begin with. I would first try Cognative Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT teaches you how to control your feelings and think diffently in these stressful situations. During the therapy you will be put in situations that you are afraid of (in this case public speaking), so you can learn how to react. If this doesnt work, then I would try medication (Paxil, Zoloft, or other anti-anxiety medications). I know this doent help with your next class, but maybe it will help you in the future. And I think Kari's advice was great. Use this for the short term before you can get help (if that is what you choose to do).
I take beta blockers. they work sometimes, but i wish i didnt need to take them.
<redrockcastle>
Posted
It is very difficult for me as well and I do the sweating thing and the shaking. I just try to remember that all those people out there are just like me.....human. We all make mistakes. And all we can do is our best. People understand...more than we realize, the nervousness etc that goes along with this type of thing.
<bowie>
Posted
First things first. Preparation. Dry run through your speech at least 3 or 4 times. You will be amazed how smooth it will flow.
Second is controlling the anxiety leading up to your turn at the podium. Try to take your mind off the performance, and just think good outward projected thoughts. If you think inward thoughts, you will implode.
I've gotten rid of most of my problems in this area. I still have occasional episodes, but at least I understand now what is going on, and how better to control them.
Peace.
<blusher>
Posted
I have a blushing problem. I think the two are related somehow. I think it is an adrenaline regulation problem. my adrenaline gate is too ready to spill into my bloodstream. others I think have more control.
I have the same problem but my husband is very comfortable with people. His advice to me was to Love them and they will love you back. If you concentrate on this,and actually zero in on their faces, smile at them and make eye contact, maybe this will help. It did me. Good Luck.
Posts: 4 | Location (City, State): Silverwingsto@aol.com | Registered: Sat April 12 2003
I am the same way. I sometimes have an embarassing feeling just asking a person a simple question or going into public alone.
I worked at a movie theatre and I was promoted to CRR Customer Relations Representative.
My duty was to assist people with problems and then 10 minutes before the show started I had to go inside "infront of everyone" and recite a speech which I was so nervous; I forgot the speech. I was on my own; so I winged it the best I could as I tried to choke down the lump in my throat.
Next show I found a focussing your eyes to where they are blury worked for me. I couldn't see their reaction. Take slow deep breath's between sentences and do not lock your knees they can cause you to faint LOL. Keep your body relaxed.
What also helped is I sat my family down and used them as the people.
hope this helps.
<terry>
Posted
same problem here. my heart grows by 100% and pounds like a racehorse. my knees shake uncontrollably and my voice quivers like a 4 year old who just got caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar.
quote:Originally posted by breadlady: I had to speak before a group at my, get this, flyfishing class, last week in Sacramento. I shook like a earthquake and sweat like a pig and made a damn fool of myself. Im only 27 and dont want to do this again it is embarrasing. I have to do this again next week and I am actually thinking about quitting class so I dont have to endure this situation. are there pills for this problem or classes i can take or advise anyone has.
you have social anxiety disorder.......i also do the same thing except i get the nervous giggles and then everyone is laughing at me and with me........Sassy
Posts: 3 | Location (City, State): Medford Oregon USA | Registered: Fri May 02 2003
I have social anxiety disorder too, it must be a pretty common problem. I am almost 34 and have taken medication before and tried conseling for a while but nothing has really helped me with it. It tends to drive my husband crazy because he is the exact opposite so he likes to tell me I am anti-social and all that stuff. I hope you can overcome yours.
"Only when the last plant has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realize that we cannot eat money."
Posts: 7 | Location (City, State): WV | Registered: Sat May 10 2003
you could just picture all the people you're facing as if they were naked.....they'll all wonder why you are smiling....lol.....or as they say, practice makes perfect....start practicing on one person, then add two.....try reading poetry outloud to kids or relatives or even some short stories. If you have the time, go and read to people in nursing homes, pretty soon speaking in front of a group will be just like reading to them. You can't suceed if you don't take the risk and good luck to you in this!!
Speaking in front of people is very difficult for me too. I am in college studying to become a teacher which requires standing in front of people. The more practice you have speaking to an audience the more comfortable you become. I believe alot of your aniexty will decrease if you practice you presentation by yourself a few times then ask someone close to you to be your audience before the formal presentation. I also believe the more you participate within a group the more comfortable you will feel. I is like you are delivering a speech to your friends.
Law school is hell! I've always been academically successful, but the further I progress, the more my debilitating fear of public speaking hinders me. Law school is the worst possible place for someone with a deep-seated fear of public speaking-- you're regularly put on the spot in a lecture hall of 120 people and peppered with complex and difficult questions by the professor. As soon as I'm called on in class, I turn beet red, my heart starts to pound, I start to tremble uncontrollably, and every logical thought flees from my head. If I can manage to utter something halfway intelligible, my voice shakes and I can't seem to catch my breath. It's absolutely horrific. I don't know what to do-- everyone else seems so polished and capable! I constantly feel like I'm going to be exposed for the fraud that I am. I constantly wonder what I'm doing there.
The problem even arises when I'm discussing something with someone one-on-one in a benign situation-- if I feel even the slightest bit intimidated by the person or by the subject matter I have the same physical and mental response. It's complete and utter hell.
I know I need help-- I can't deal with this for the rest of my life.
Posts: 2 | Location (City, State): Washington, DC | Registered: Thu June 19 2003
If you don't prepare, then be prepared for the worst. If you prepare, your chances are 90% better or greater, that you wont flub in from of the crowd. Most people who flub, are combining a fear of speaking, with an unprepared presentation.
<mike cummins>
Posted
The physical act of preparation only serves to heighten the sense of fear of the speech itself.
I'm 49 and my son has just married. Thankfully, here in the UK the father of the groom has no formal speaking role to play at the wedding breakfast; I but was sweating thinking about all the others having to speak.
But, even though my daughter won't be getting married for at least 2 years, I'm already getting panic attacks, losing sleep, contributing to message boards at 7 in the morning etc etc.
Occasionally I can be a persuasive speaker but, in this case, the thought of making a 'father of the bride speech' in front of many unknown guests fills me with dread.
I've even considered refusing the role which is pathetic.
Any help anyone can give would be much appreciated.
<kim>
Posted
I totally disagree Mike, the physical act of preparation should slowly start to ease your mind. While you might get nervous thinking that what you are preparing for, you will not remember at speech time, you will be surprised. The extra adrenaline matched with your preparation will make you into a Winston Churchill in front of all the people. Practice I say.
