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Pluba Freshman |
that pretty much sums it up, eh? it was an accident...we were taking all of the precautions, bc pills AND condoms....the condom broke...apparently i had skipped a pill w/o noticing. what do i do? where do i go from here? i love the father, i would spend the rest of my life with him, but i don't know if he feels the same. neither of us feel like we're ready to raise a child, together or apart...and i would never presume to force him into doing something that effects his life so much. he has already said he'll go with my decision (which i don't like too much...it's not only my decision, it should be half his, too!) the thing is...my maternal instincts are kicking in. i know that having a baby is one of the most impractical things i can do right now, but i don't know if i could bring myself to end it. i wouldn't want to bring a baby into this world in a bad situation, and i know that i could never adopt it out...it would kill me. so...do i keep it? or do i abort?
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| <JoJo>
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quote: If you even have the slightest inkling that you think you could love this baby, I say go for it. Have it, raise it, love it. The father has already said he will go along with whatever decision you make. Tell him you want to get married and raise the child and live happily ever after. There is certainly nothing wrong with that. This is one way to find out if he does feel the same way about you as you do him. It will also strenthen your love to be so committed and be making a new life. Good Luck!! |
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| <Passion Wolf>
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I don't know what you think of me but instead of ending this babies life can you not put this child up for adoption ? There are so many loving homes that can not have children that are willing to adopt a child...
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Pluba Freshman |
quote:i don't know if i could ever do that. after seeing the baby, there would be no way i'd be able to give it up. |
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| <Passion Wolf>
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well you could request not to see the baby ... I am just giving you more then one or two ways .it is your decision no one but you can make that choice .
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Almost Grand Pluba |
quote: I agree with Linda. You can request not to see the baby. "Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish" Euripides |
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Exceptional Pluba |
I'm with Linda and Bons on that one too. This is serious business. It's all good, and you'll reap the benefits in the end.
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| <RichmondKennel>
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Oh Sweetheart..this is something you have to decide...because you will be the one that has to live with it
 I have done childcare thru the county for 13 years..and there are programs to help people with childcare..schooling and more. I am very much for adoption..having friends that have not been able to have child that adopted and they LOVE them so much..but I can't say I could do such a hard thing..But..at least you gave it life and a chance..abortion is another thing...it may end the problem at the time..but I have spoken with many mothers that say it has bothered them all there life..and some it never bothers...its all what you can handle I guess. Maybe you could talk to your parents? When My son told me they were having a baby I thought he was scared..I was THRILLED! Might not have been perfect timing..but mosst things haven't been ..BUT I LOVE that little boy more than life it's self! Good luck! Kim |
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| <Passion Wolf>
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Kitsune
My prayers are with you .I hope you can do what is right for you  |
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Good Pluba |
Kitsune, I have two children and it is IMO and I enphasize IMO because this is your desition and yours alone, but my husband and I found out we were pregnant again a few months back and it was a shocker. We have children and for us abortion couldn't be an option, if you ever intend to have children be prepared to feel so aweful about having had an abortion, I don't know any parents who have had an abortion who do not look at their kids and remember the one they don't have. I miscarried and it was DEVASATING (sp). I blamed myself horribly and I was in no way even in control of what happened. It has been awhile now but you are the first person outside of my family I have even been able to mention it to. Talk to a counselor and not just one at an abortion clinic, I have heard so many horror stories of people being mislead at those clinics and then THEY have to live with that they have done not the person who mislead them, it's just not fair and often it is years down the road before you begin to really be haunted with it. With adoption you can have so many options...You can pick the family yourself, you can not pick them, you can arrange that you still get visits, you can arrange that you NEVER see the baby, just whatever you need and don't believe the whole your body will be ruined with stretch marks and stuff crap because it doesn't have to be, talk to a doctor about lotions and oils that prevent this, I have two children and not ONE stretch mark and am at the same weight as I was before I had either, it isn't a sure thing body destroyer (sp, again)!! No matter what you choose I truely wish you the best!!
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Good Pluba |
holy **** kit i just saw this....you're getting a pt now....
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Exceptional Pluba |
Don't abort. You can always adopt out, but please don't abort.
Official "Timette"™ Luv ya TIMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!  |
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Pluba Freshman |
I have many health problems so having more children is in no way an option, but like you I found my self pregnant. I have two boys so I know what that love is like and could never abort. I was told by my Dr that having a baby could end up killing me, but I decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. I lost the baby at 4 months of pregnancy and grieved so much over a baby I never wanted. I can promise that once the baby is here you will never regret keeping it.
Jenniffer Scardina Prairie Dog Care & Advice Cell#(931)284-1611 http://geocities.com/prairiedoginfo/rescue.html      |
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Pluba Freshman |
hi everyone...
thanks for your advice, i really appreciate it... it's no longer an issue. i miscarried. i suppose it's for the better. |
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Very Good Pluba |
I am so sorry.
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Pluba Freshman |
I am so sorry at your loss take care of yourself, things will work out
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Exceptional Pluba |
I'm so sorry to hear that Kit.
Official "Timette"™ Luv ya TIMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! |
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Newba Pluba |
I found myself in a similar situation awhile back, i was 19 going on 20 and found out i was pregnant by my then live in boyfriend, i was terribly scared, TERRIBLY but i knew what i had to do my mom's voice came in my head, "if you choose to lay in bed....." My husband was excited right off the bat he was older at 25, i knew what i had to do, we told my parents but in the same breath told them that we were getting married, we went out that day and picked up my ring and started letting people know. Did i want this to happen at that time NO, i was young, i still wanted to go out and party and LIVE, BUT and a big BUT, was it the babys fault i got pregnant? NO did she ask to be born NO, was i scared YES BIG YES. I was 20 when i gave birth to her and i am now 21, she just turned 1 and i couldnt be happier, some days i just cry i scream " i want a break, i want to go be 21 with all my old friends" And then 9:00pm comes and my husband goes to work and i sit alone watching tv thinking, boy i wish i could wake her up to play, i cant wait till we can go shopping together or send her off to her first day of shcool, Or watch her in her first dance recitel, and it makes me cry sometimes, but these are tears of JOY sheer and utter joy. I knew right from the beginning that i was going to be the best mom i could be, i stopped drinking, going out with friends, smoking, basically everything i had done in the past i stopped, my mom became my best friend and my parents and now husband became my biggest fan team. Do i wish sometimes she would have came a little later in life, sometimes, would i take it back for anything in the would, NEVER, So please do what is in your heart, dont listen to anyone else, this is going to be your baby, not your moms, not your friends and yes your boyfriends but you will be mom. Whatever you decide you will always find support.
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Exceptional Pluba |
I know the feeling, or I understand it AMR. When I was 12 years old I had a friend the same age who had her first child. I was happy for her myself, but my ma and grandma was scared and upset for her and it wasn't until after the baby was born I figured out why. My friend completely missed out on being a 12-year old, she had to learn to be a mother for that child. She wasn't married yet either (and being 12 years old, marriage was not an option) and the guy that did that to her could never be counted on, for he was just a one-night stand.
Official "Timette"™ Luv ya TIMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! |
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