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My presentation was great! I cant believe how nervous i was though, and then when you get up there take a deep breath and you feel much better and it comes naturally.. You should just always have in mind that they are all as nervous as you are...... And that they all want you to do well... No matter how bad you think you did they will think you did awesome... So goodluck to anyone who ever has to public speak.... Everyone is capable of doing anything that they want to.... Remember that! Now its a huge weight off my shoulders that its over! 
| <Joan>
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glad to hear it..yeah!!
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| <Mandy>
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 OOHHH NO!!!I just found out i have to do another 5-10 minute presentation on King JamesI.... Fun stuff, but i feel confident this time... Il keep ya all updated!  |
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Newba Pluba |
ur lucky im at school public speaking is a weekly horor for me it all boils down to ur self confidence
~im young wuts ur excuse |
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| <Mandy>
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 Hey whats up everyone? Well id have to say my excuse is being young too....  Just found out im going to vegas.... YAY! Im a New Yorker so its exciting for me!  Everyone take care! Ciao  |
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| <Unibuckle>
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You said it so well. I am a graduate student and I have the exact same feelings!!
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| <Hillary>
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Hi everyone,
I have an interesting problem. It is the exact same nervouse sweating, shaking, hot feeling you get when you public speak but it's dancing instead. Dancing is my entire life and I love everything about it. What is weird about this situation is that I love performing and competing but I hate being nervouse. Get this, at competitions I have to dance infront of a judge and a huge crowd! The judge grades you on everything from posture, to how high on your toes you are. (Note: this is Irish dancing)To make the environment even more intense my teacher is sitting there watching me with glaring eyes and his hands over his mouth, praying that I don't mess up becuse I represent his school. I have done very well, but sometimes I have completley blanked out.Once I blanked out in my dance and ended up making up the steps. I still placed! When I've thought I've done horrible other people told me I did good. I still can't get over my fear and my legs still turn to jello, but I'm not going to give up. I appreciate everyones advice. Even though I'm a dancer we still share the same exact problems. I guess the only advice I have is not to give up what you love even if you keep getting nervouse whether it is your job or whatever. Also, a lot of people may disagree with me, but I find it helpful to get prepared for the absolute worst to happen. Chances are the worst won't happen and if it does you'll be ready and it won't be a complete shock. Also, if it doesn't happen you'll feel ten times more releived and better. This may not work for everyone. Thanks for the help everyone! Bye |
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Grand Pluba |
You are right Hilary. Dancing, public speaking....it all boils down to fear of failure. Once you tell yourself ... "so what if i bomb, I'll try it again another time" it can help you to relax.
My job requires a lot of public speaking. When i first became a manager I couldn't sleep the night before a presentation. It bothered me so bad I went to my doctor. This was years ago and I do not remember the name of the meds, but basically it was a type of muscle relaxer, just something that made you very relaxed. I would take a half a pill before every speech. I only took them at that time...never any other time. After a couple of months I didn't need them anymore. I look back and laugh now, because getting in front of a crowd is no more nerve wrecking to me than going to sit behind a desk. The first thing to do when walking on the stage, podium, whatever is take a deep breath, scan the audience to make eye contact with as many people as you can, and smile very big. If you can ... some brief humor in the opening to get the audience engaged also helps to relax you and the audience. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are." -Dale Carnegie |
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| <Guest>
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Reading this board is like therapy to me. My anxiety is all too similar as everyone elses. I'm still in college, my senior year, and I have yet to take my speech, marketing and management classes. I've always dislike school because of this reason and this one reason only! I've always wonder why we have to face this when others who have a fear of ...water (bad example, I know) has a choice of not facing them at all ...except on unfortunate occassions. Tell me to jump off a plane, I will ...anything but be surrounded by people. I'm panicky when I'm in a crowded and closed environment ...I think I might have a mild case of claustrophobia(sp?). I feel totally depressed and alone. I can't even bring myself to discuss my problem with my sister (my close and understanding sister) ...I just can't ..it's so painful. I even get a little nervous talking to her in great details. I also feel that it's not speech alone, it's the words that come out of my mouth ... I know how everyone feels. I love reading your posts, it's therapeutic. I used to be extremely and painfully scared of dancing in front of people but not anymore, but, believe me it was through a painful experience. I felt really pressured to dance ...being pulled here and there by my relatives (birthday) and I was near my end. To cut the long story short I burst out crying and end up being extremely angry at myself and everyone. It's still a painful experience I think about but now it taught me that, really, nobody cares how you dance ...NOBODY. I should know. I pay attention to only myself or the person I'm dancing with. Now, I absolutely love to dance... *breathe in breath out*
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| <roddaut>
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There are several options that work for people who have fear of public speaking.
Only one organiztion that I know of has a program in which they guarantee they can help you eliminate your fear of public speaking. You can find it at http://www.speakingwithoutfear.com They are expensive but well worth it. I've had friends and colleagues work with them on fear of public speaking, social anxiety and depression and all had great results. Also, some hypnotherapists have had great results. Weni Friesen (http://www.wendi.com) has programs specifically for public speaking and her approach helped at least one friend of mine. Finally, EFT is another techniques that has helped many people eliminate their fear of public speaking. You can find out obout this approach at http://www.emofree.com. There is one good e-book that teaches how to use EFT to get rid of fear of public speaking at http://banza.iinet.net.au/publicspeakingfear/ I did presentations years ago in which I used EFT to help audience members get rid of phobias. I can tell you that when used in the hands of someone well-trained it works very well. In the hands of a novice it still works but often takes more time. Persist with this method and you will get results. Roddaut |
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Grand Pluba |
Well like anything, practice makes perfect. Something free is joining a group like Toastmasters. They help you and teach techniques to make your speeches effective and you are in a group that is very supportive. And they are all there because they also want to overcome fear of public speaking.
Whomever said that prep for the speech exasorbates the fear...i disagree. The more you are prepared and very comfortable with the material you present the more you will feel comfortable giving the speech. Nothing will compound anxiety more than imcompetence. YOu need to feel very knowledgeable about your subject matter so do not skip prepping for a speech to keep the anxiety down. It really is a matter of practice. I used to get so nervous but now it is second nature. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are." -Dale Carnegie |
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| <Blunderer>
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I'm envious of people who can just naturally blabber off a speech or story in any setting.
I've managed public speaking my entire life by preparing and practicing over and over again. I've given speeches in front of classrooms from middle school to high school, wedding toasts in front of 150 guests, lead tours, and even worked as an instructor giving group lessons. I've SURVIVED by practicing my speeches over and over and over and over, time in time out, practice makes perfect, etc. It's worked for me to the point where I've been given great compliments by people who have no idea of my problem. But the amount of energy I have to invest to survive public speaking is nearly not worth the effort. Talking to myself repeatedly... in the shower, while walking down the hallway, in the car, before falling asleep. I really don't feel that repetition is a true solution to overcoming fear of public speaking. The fear is always there, it's just that when I go into "the trance", all the repetition has made it possible for me to continue speaking. That's all! Today, I decided I wanted to be a natural speaker. So I did a presentation at work on a simple subject with very little preparation and decided to read it off just like many others have done very naturally with no trouble I failed miserably and made an absolute *** of myself. I could have breezed through it by practicing for hours, but I'm sick and tired of having to invest so much time to give a 10 minute presentation on a simple subject. I've given up on practice. Practice helped me overcome nothing. Practice consume so much time that it's no longer a viable solution. Practice has just become another manifestation of my problem!!! I'm totally discourage and don't know what to do. Maybe a trip down to Mexico for a few bottles of beta blockers? |
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Grand Pluba |
This is not true for everyone. I truly overcame my fear thru repetition. I no longer have the sweats, nervous butterflies or any of the things that plagued me in year's past. I don't know when or how it changed, but now I feel very natural speaking to large or small groups. The first couple of years tho I was just like what you describe. Hours and hours of practice and stress for a simple presentation. And not all are born natural speakers, so that was the mistake trying to go off the cuff. You know what, I bet YOU would be very surprised that some of these people who appear natural speakers are ALSO preparing unbeknownst to you. The secret to a great presentation is lots of prep no matter how comfortable you feel. I still put a lot of work into my presentations, content and practicing it out loud a couple of tiems first because a quickly thrown together presentation really shows as a poor one in most cases. although i am comfortable with it today, I am glad i do not have a job that requires this all the time. It is a lot of work and when you are up there you are at the mercy of your audience! Knowing your material backward and frontward is the best surefire way to alleviate some of the stress of presenting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are." -Dale Carnegie |
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| <Alyson>
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Hi,
I have always been afraid of speaking in public or presentations for work. In college, I actually would have a couple of drinks before a presentation and did just fine, I know it sound pathetic. I have noticed as I have gotten older the fear has become worse, I know even get nervous when I am selling to a client on the phone, my breath gets short, my heart pounds,and my voice shakes, it really is just getting in teh way of what I want to do. Socially I am very outgoing, I am a little shy when first meeting people like most people, but have no problem in social situations, I actually love being the center of attention. I just have a problem when it is related to presenting something in front of people or a person, mainly dealing with work. And I find the more I prepare of think about it, the worse my fears get. I know what I have is basically an anxiety/phobia, which leads to kind of a panic attack. I really do not want to take medications because of all the side effects, plus I was put on something before and my heart raced all the time. I would like to believe there is a way I can overcome this and get better by myself, if that is possible? |
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Newba Pluba |
I had an EXTREME fear of public speaking. More like paralysis. My heart would beat out of my chest and my voice would shake. Just the worst! I tried Toastmasters, but they don't really help people who have this fear. I did try In the Spotlight at PerformanceAnxiety.com. I took it in 1999 and will take it again this June in Boston. You really have to be in a group with people who have the same fear to get over this. While I still don't love public speaking, I don't dread it anymore and have become pretty good at it. Try it, I think it's worth it.
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Exceptional Pluba |
Rocker, Kudos! I think it's great that you looked that fear in the eyes and 'stared it down,' so to speak. I'm pretty outgoing, but used to dread public speaking until I had to take a college course on it. A BIT of nervousness actually helps to keep your delivery fresh. I've written papers on tip and tricks on public speaking since then, but one VERY helpful hint: speak on a topic about which you are passionate. For my first major speech, I chose the importance of using hand signals/body signals (with dogs) in combo. with verbal commands. Your delivery will naturally captivate your audience if the topic is something you feel strongly about :-) "Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth." -- Disraeli  |
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Grand Pluba |
YOu are absolutely right there...confidence is key. If you have to present something you do not konw that well..practice, practice, then practice again. Knowing your topic well makes for ease of delivery. It has been a few years since I got those nerves when speaking, so i am here to attest that practice makes perfect. When i was a bit younger, speaking in public gripped me with a fear that i could not stand. Today, i am completely comfortable with it - and thank God as I have to do this often with work. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are." -Dale Carnegie |
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