*

It's so cooooold, that the fish is stuck.

"It's so cold, our yard is filled with poop-cicles."

quote:

Originally posted by Canine:
"It's so cold, our yard is filled with poop-cicles."

It's so cold, the Belted Galloway cows are making chocolate and vanilla soft-serve.

It's so cold my Living Bra froze to death.

Ummm. Dare I ask what a "Living Bra" is?

It's so cold, even my bowl of Chili froze

But REAl cold is when you tell your friend's mama it is chilly outside and she grabs a bowl

It's so cold Bam Bam hiked his leg and became a lawn ornament.

The classic answer of course, is that it's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. But it had nothing to do with apes or testicles.

The most likley source for this expression, was the old sailing ships that had cannons on them for protection. You ever watch pirate movies? And the ships are firing away at each other? Quick...where were they getting the cannonballs?

Cannonballs were carried on deck, near the cannons, on a metal base made from brass, that had a slightly raised ridge/rim. It was called the "monkey". Metal will contract in the cold. Since these ships were on the seas in winter, the cold was sometimes severe enough to make the metal "shrink" enough to upset the pyramid of balls. Thus the expression, cold enough to freeze the balls off the brass monkey.

The other explanation has to do with money. A "monkey" was a euphemism for a unit of money. In the old days, pawnbrokers used a sign overhanging the sidewalk, that had three brass balls on it. This was a universal symbol, so that sailors in any port could find a pawnbroker. But like the brass monkey on a ship, the metal would contract in winter, and the balls often fell. So you had balls falling off the "brass monkey", which was the pawnbroker who gave you a certain sum of money.

quote:

Originally posted by PublicAlert:
The classic answer of course, is that it's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. But it had nothing to do with apes or testicles.

The most likley source for this expression, was the old sailing ships that had cannons on them for protection. You ever watch pirate movies? And the ships are firing away at each other? Quick...where were they getting the cannonballs?

Cannonballs were carried on deck, near the cannons, on a metal base made from brass, that had a slightly raised ridge/rim. It was called the "monkey". Metal will contract in the cold. Since these ships were on the seas in winter, the cold was sometimes severe enough to make the metal "shrink" enough to upset the pyramid of balls. Thus the expression, cold enough to freeze the balls off the brass monkey.

The other explanation has to do with money. A "monkey" was a euphemism for a unit of money. In the old days, pawnbrokers used a sign overhanging the sidewalk, that had three brass balls on it. This was a universal symbol, so that sailors in any port could find a pawnbroker. But like the brass monkey on a ship, the metal would contract in winter, and the balls often fell. So you had balls falling off the "brass monkey", which was the pawnbroker who gave you a certain sum of money.

PA googled, PA googled. neener, neener LOL

PA wrote a book, PA wrote a book, nyah nyah. Published five years ago. Phllbbbtttt!!!!

What you Google may very well be out of that book...ROFLMAO!!!!!!

It is so cold when Goliaths pees he can create swan ice sculptures in the back yard

quote:

Originally posted by PublicAlert:
PA wrote a book, PA wrote a book, nyah nyah. Published five years ago. Phllbbbtttt!!!!

What you Google may very well be out of that book...ROFLMAO!!!!!!

I thought to post the monkey balls thing but, knowing what brass monkeys were, vetoed the idea. Putting off cooking while I finish my coffee here, I took your advice and went to seach just now and found this on snopes.com:

Claim: "Brass monkeys" were small brass plates used to hold cannonballs on the decks of sailing ships.

Status: False.

Example: [Collected on the Internet, 2001]


Every sailing ship had to have cannon for protection. Cannon of the times required round iron cannonballs. The master wanted to store the cannon-balls such that they could be of instant use when needed, yet not roll around the gun deck. The solution was to stack them up in a square based pyramid next to the cannon. The top level of the stack had one ball, the next level down had four, the next had nine, the next had sixteen, and so on. Four levels would provide a stack of 30 cannonballs. The only real problem was how to keep the bottom level from sliding out from under the weight of the higher levels. To do this, they devised a small brass plate ("brass monkey") with one rounded indentation for each cannonball in the bottom layer. Brass was used because the cannonballs wouldn't rust to the"brass monkey", but would rust to an iron one.

When temperature falls, brass contracts in size faster than iron. As it got cold on the gun decks, the indentations in the brass monkey would get smaller than the iron cannonballs they were holding. If the temperature got cold enough, the bottom layer would pop out of the indentations spilling the entire pyramid over the deck. Thus it was, quite literally, "cold enough to freeze the balls off a "brass monkey."

Origins: Somebody's
fanciful imagination is at work cooking up spurious etymologies again. In short, this origin for the phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" is nonsense because:

* Not even the venerable Oxford English Dictionary, records a usage of "brass monkey" like the one presented here.

* When references to "brass monkeys" started appearing in print in the mid-19th century, they did not always mention balls or cold temperatures. It was sometimes cold enough to freeze the ears, tail, nose, or whiskers off a brass monkey. Likewise, it was sometimes hot enough to "scald the throat" or "singe the hair" of a brass monkey. These usages are inconsistent with the putative origins offered here.

* Warships didn't store cannonballs (or "round shot") on deck around the clock, day after day, on the slight chance that they might go into battle. Space was a precious commodity on sailing ships, and decks were kept as clear as possible in order to allow room for hundreds of men to perform all the tasks necessary for ordinary ship's functions. (Stacking round shot on deck would also create the danger of their breaking free and rolling around loose on deck whenever the ship encountered rough seas.) Cannonballs were stored elsewhere and only brought out when the decks had been cleared for action.

* Particularly diligent gunners (not "masters," who were in charge of navigation, sailing and pilotage, not ordnance) would have their crews chip away at imperfections on the surface of cannonballs to make them as smooth as possible, in the hopes that this would cause them fly truer. They did not leave shot on deck, exposed to the elements, where it would rust.

Nobody really knows where the phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" came from, but the explanation offered here certainly isn't the answer.

Last updated: 9 January 2001

Now, we ALL can know more about brass monkey balls than we had ever hoped.

quote:

Originally posted by Purfect Dream:
It is so cold when Goliaths pees he can create swan ice sculptures in the back yard

That's a great visual picture!

I did include in the book that I thought that was a stretch of the imagination. However, there are notations about those signs falling off, particularly in winter. Whether that was wind or metal contraction is difficult to say. I always wondered if that was why the "over the sidewalk" signs disappeared.

I do know that metal will contract in winter and expand in summer, because I lived near a railroad growing up, and the way track was laid, there had to be a small space between sections, to allow for changes in the flexing of the metal. Not that it was a huge space, but apparently there was some movement according to temperature.

On the other hand,I have a metal kennel door that sticks. It may be contracting, but I'm sure the frame swells with dampness from the air. So if it does shrink, it's cancelled out by the wood.

If I shrink, it is because I am getting older.

Its cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table MM

Not really its 35 here waiting for sleet,ice, snow,and whatever.

quote:

Originally posted by Maddie's Mom:
Its cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table MM

That will most definitely help my pool game!